So many questions…

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls… and Whatever Else Is Out There

The story you are about to read is true… in that it really is my opinion and quest for answers. Yes, that’s right. A quest for answers. I don’t know everything about this particular subject. Nor do I expect this to be the only post on my site about such a thing. I am not writing this (Okay, typing it.) to anger anyone or discriminate. I am writing about this subject as I, a fairly liberal heterosexual male, knows it.

This is about the current popularity of sexuality, gender issues and gender roles. I say current popularity because they’ve always been here in one form or another but until the past 15-20 years it’s been extraordinarily taboo to discuss such things. Thus the waters get muddied with untruths and ignorance because no one is willing or able to ask, if you could even find someone to ask.

Let’s get the easy one out of the way. For the completely oblivious, Gender Roles are not found at those special bakeries. (I want to say something about it just being a homophone but I’m worried they’d think this whole thing is ‘gay’ and stop reading.) The “traditional gender roles” are the man works while woman stays home and watches the house and kids. That isn’t true anymore. If you want to switch that, great! Go right ahead. If you can afford this, many, I realize, can’t and both parents work while the kids… no, I won’t switch subjects. We’ll get to this part later. Men and women can do whatever they want, as far as roles are concerned.

Here’s another easy one. Many people consider heterosexuality to be the norm. Perhaps it is. It is how a vast majority of reproduction in humans occurs. (There is that thing about the simple division of the egg to fertilize it but that I consider more into the genetics area and I’m not touching that without a considerable amount of studying which I’m not going to do right now.) But who’s really to say if homosexual isn’t normal? Or pansexualism? Or omnisexualism? (Is there a difference between pan- and omni-?) Unless it involves raping another individual, in which case hetero- or homo-sexually it is wrong, there isn’t an issue unless it’s being done in public or with a minor.

One of the biggest arguments against homosexuality comes from (gasp) the bible. I am familiar with the main passage used. Leviticus 18:22, the most direct translation of which is: no man shall lay with another man the way he lays with a woman. Okay. Let’s modernize it. No man shall have sex with another man the way he has sex with a woman. Again, not a problem – and that is NOT me being against homosexuality. Follow me on this. For a man to have sex with another man the way he has sex with a woman, one of them is going to have to have a vagina. If one of them has a vagina, it isn’t two men anymore, is it? It’s a man and a woman, which is just fine. Two men doing what they do isn’t really mentioned, now, is it? So, fellas – knock yourselves out on this one. By the way, did you notice how lesbians were left out of the whole thing? Ladies, again, go for it! Even the bible doesn’t say anything against whatever it is you do.

Now to the one that makes little sense to me, the gender swapping issues. As I mentioned, I was born with a penis and have had no interest in having it replaced. Some people feel the need to do so, and, frankly, as far as I’m concerned, that’s up to them. And that can, of course, be flipped with women wanting a penis… installed? If that’s the right term. Frankly, I think the only person that should be concerned about this would be the person having a current and active sex life with the person wanting to change. Family, religion, work, friends – none of that matters if that’s something you want and/or to have done. Why the senate is involved is beyond me. The last thing I want to think about in regards to my own genitalia is Mitch McConnell. What the problem is, I don’t know or understand.

Actually, there is one thing that makes very little sense about this to me that I would like responses to. If you are, for example, born a man but feel like you are or should have always been a woman and have that surgery done, why do so many people who do this seem to insist on being called a trans-gendered person? In this case, you were a man, now you’re a woman. Why add that extra little bit to make the people who don’t understand your transformation uncomfortable? Just say you’re a woman and let it go. It’s that extra little bit that seems to start the argument. Should you be proud of what you’ve done? Sure. I’m not sure you need to rub it in someone’s face, though. I mean, telling you new sex partner at some point might be a prudent or even polite thing to do, but announcing it just to announce it seems… off, somehow.

Then there’s what I consider the newest part of all of this: identification. People who, again, for example, are male but say they identify as female and therefore cross-dress and use the opposite gender’s restrooms. Cross-dressing? Go for it! I don’t see the issue. Using the other gender’s restrooms, I can see where that would make people uncomfortable. It’s your issue and you can do what you want with your issue, until it involves someone else, then it becomes other people’s issues. Does that make sense? I mean, if you can get away with it, go right ahead. I just wouldn’t announce it.

Then there’s the ‘new genders’ that I also do not understand. When I was growing up, there were four genders – granted two of them were rather rare. Male, Female, Eunuch (neither) and Hermaphrodite (both). Am I using the politically correct terms for that, probably not, but you understand what I’m getting at here. I’m wondering where these new genders came from. Genderfluid I get – today I’m one and tomorrow the other. Multi/Polygender – unisex clothing, I suspect, becomes very popular with this crowd. Novigender – apparently that means hard to assign in a single term. I honestly do not know what that means. Necron, Nurgle, Third-gender, Neutrois and Slannesh are some I’m not even sure are real, much less do I understand them. To each their own, I suppose.

There is one of these new genders I do have an issue with, though. I have a great deal of difficulty believing that someone thinks that they are, sexually, an attack helicopter, or helisexual. No. I’m good with everything in here so far but this one. Just no. I am not heliphobic. I was just brought up with the idea that believing you are a vehicle of any nature was an imaginary plaything and continuing to believe you are a helicopter over the age of, let’s say, eight, you are probably in need of some kind of psychological care.

Having just dismissed a possibly fictional gender, I would like to point out that there are many people in “positions of authority” who have issues with all of what I’ve written. Just as an example, Minister McKrae Game, who ran an anti-gay ministry in South Carolina, just came out as gay himself. (Pot, this is kettle.) Or how about Oklahoma State Senator Ralph Shortey? He was very against trans-people in public restrooms, because the obviously don’t need to pee… I guess. He spoke out loudly and proudly against the LGBTQ… A… E… J… (Okay, here’s my other issue. Finalize the acronym so I can commit it to memory and be done.) Shortey was then arrested in a public restroom having sex with an under-aged boy. This making him the senator who cried ‘gay’! While we’re here I would like to point out that the act Shortey was arrested for has not been repeated by anyone in the LGBTQRSPCA. Although, now that I think about it, I’m wondering why more senators aren’t trying to recruit Helisexual people as replacement parts for the military. If nothing else, it would save a little money, right?

3 Comments

  1. Great article and very good questions that I have also asked (and continue to ask). Though not politically correct or popular, I miss the term “gay and lesbian”. We are the vast majority (in numbers) in the never-ending LGBT+ acronym. And, although politically the various groups represented may have shared experiences of discrimination, our social groups have little in common with one another.

    With exceptions, gay men do not hang out with lesbians. Any man, whether gay or straight who walks into a lesbian bar is always treated poorly – by staff and/or by the regular patrons. If a straight woman accompanies a gay friend to a gay bar, she is worshipped. A gay man who walks in a lesbian bar may not be waited on and may endure hateful stares and glances until he leaves. Lesbians, within their exclusive environments, aren’t typically very nice or accepting people. Sadly, lesbians also often complain about not being treated well in gay establishments.

    Bisexuals often get a bad rap and I kind of get it. I’d never date one and, fairly or not, they are a potential threat to everybody. Heterosexuals don’t understand them and gays and lesbians don’t trust them.

    I support transgendered rights, but they aren’t part of our (gay) community, mostly. My partner at the time and I visited the Las Vegas Club, a transgender bar in Las Vegas, years ago and were asked to leave because we were making people uncomfortable. Those attracted to transgendered women are almost always straight men who, obviously, are attracted to women, but want a woman with a penis. It is common for those attracted to transgendered women to dislike gay men and, sometimes actively discriminate against them. An “L”, “G”, “B”, and “T” (sounds like a sandwich) walk into a bar together begins as a joke, but it literally never happens in the real world. Personally, I prefer straight bars (though, in my later years, I very very rarely go to bars) to gay ones because, in the right environment, everybody gets along. I shoot pool with straight guys, converse in “guy talk” and it’s fun. Most straight guys don’t care I’m gay once they realize (and I tell them) I don’t want them. I like hanging out with the guys, as I always have, and sex or orientation has nothing to do with it. Here, I am probably the exception. As a very dominant male, I almost always get along with my hetero counterparts better than with those within my community. Just like there is often prejudice between light-skinned and dark-skinned African-Americans, sadly, there is discrimination between the masculine and feminine within the gay community. My interests very rarely are stereotypically “gay”. I hate musicals, pop music, Hallmark films, and use the word “fabulous” only when joking. I like my music hard, my movies scary, and my Bud Lite. If a drink includes an umbrella, I ain’t ordering it. So, even the gay community often doesn’t get along – add an additional acronym or two (or 7) and you have a descriptor of multi communities that have very little in common and probably don’t like one another – though there is mutual respect, in theory.

    I read an article on Wednesday that discussed a gender-fluid individual and the article bothered me because it referred to the individual in plurals. “They went to the store” is a description of a single person’s activities. Though not politically correct, I find the whole thing rather silly and grammatically nosiating. I support all people to identify as they feel comfortable, but (so I will be respectful) learning about 25 different genders/identities is something I have no interest in.

    I ran across the online profile of a gender-fluid individual yesterday (frustrating to read, since everything was in plural) named Sage Aluminum. Not male, not female, so “they” wear non-gendered clown makeup. Maybe this is a real thing but, to me, it seems like purposeful attention-getting.

    What I’ve found useful is asking the person I’m speaking with the pronouns I should use during our conversation. Interestingly, this has always gone over well. It shows an immediate respect and the willingness to adapt. It’s easy for gay guys, like me, because we still identify as male. I know it’s not easy for many within other, smaller, gender-identified communities.

    Although rare for a gay man, it has been brought to my attention (by guys I’ve dated – though friends would most likely laugh) a few times that I might have tendencies of hyper-masculinity, which is more commonly known as “toxic masculinity” because I rarely identify with common “gay” characteristics and can “buck up” to a scary degree when those I care about are being mistreated. I mention this because, I suspect, my views about gender and everyone within the acronym are not common and should not be considered representative. Strangely, I occasionally find myself “gaying up” my characteristics to fit in when among other gay guys. But, if a fellow gay man calls me (or starts a sentence with) “girl…” we’re probably not meant to be. I like guys – both gay and straight. By this, whether popular or not, I mean I like hanging with dudes. An evening out with male Cinderella doesn’t sound fun to me.

    Thank you for letting me share my thoughts on this subject. 🙂

    Like

  2. I love this impromptu conversation. I’m using love in a non-sexual way, of course – although I must admit I am a logophile. Better keep that one off social media, or some alt-right half-wit fundamentalist will attempt to ream me for it. Probably in a unisex bathroom.

    Liked by 1 person

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