MAKE UP YOUR MIND! (about the food)

As you’ve probably noticed, there are a lot of things I don’t understand. I think there are a lot of things everyone doesn’t understand. In this particular instance, I’m referring to whether or not a particular food is good for you – specifically: avacados.

Avocados are, allegedly, and you’ll see why I say that soon, good for you. They help lower cholesterol and area great source of vitamins C, E, K, B-6, riboflavin, niacin, folate, magnesium, potassium and panothenic acid (whatever that last one is). It also supports good skin, enhances the absorption of fat-soluable vitamins, minerals and other nutrients and might even give that immune system a good kick start.

Let’s look at a few other foods, while we’re at it. Onions contain fiber and folic acid and even vitamin B. Garlic is a blood thinner that helps promote circulation. Tomatoes are considered the major source of the dietary antioxidant lycopene which allegedly reduces the risk of heart disease and cancer. Limes are high in vitamin C and antioxidants while reducing heart disease risk factors and prevent kidney stones. Even Salt and Pepper promote safe sex and religion… wait… that’s the rappers. Salt in limited doses is good for you and pepper is, well, nutritionally neutral.

Why did I mention all these foods? They’re ingredients, of course. For guacamole! Here’s the catch. Guacamole is bad for you. Lost? Me too. All the ingredients are good for you, except maybe pepper, which, as mentioned, is neutral. So, how, exactly, do all these good things come together and make something bad for you? I honestly have no idea.

In math, two negatives, when multiplied, make a positive. Perhaps something like that happens here… somehow. There is no instance in math of two positives making a negative. Or, in this case, six positives and a neutral. All of the ingredients, when taken separately, are good for you, but mixed is bad. What happens if you just happen to eat the ingredients without mixing them first? Won’t they just mix in your stomach and become bad… somehow?

No, this doesn’t make much sense. Similar to eggs. In the 70s, they were good for you. 80s, horrible. 90s, the whites are good. 2000s, they’re bad again. Any time now, I’m expecting to hear that only the shell is edible and the rest should be discarded, because no good can come of what’s in eggs. Unless it’s a chicken… which is good for you.

I give up. I’m going for a pizza! Which is bad for me… somehow… see guacamole argument listed above.


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