Let Baby Yoda Lead The Way

I saw an article recently that claimed (and probably rightfully so) that Baby Yoda was more popular than any Democratic Presidential candidate, Donald, Republican candidate, and, in fact, any other politician. Of course, he is. Baby Yoda has many things going for him, provided Baby Yoda is, in fact, a “him,” but that’s the adjective I’m using so get over it.

Let’s start with, he’s adorable. The little ears that really aren’t little for anything short of an elephant. The eyes that seem to light up a room. The cute little face. He looks so young compared to “classic” Yoda. He’s just adorable and that’s an end of it.

He eats frogs. Just watch the Mandalorian, episode two, and you’ll see just how cute something like that can be.

He’s powerful. He controls the Force. For those who live under rocks and yet somehow still get blogs, the Force is a mystical energy that binds all life together and bestows mystical powers upon those who know how to access it.

But, and I think this is the most important thing, Baby Yoda ISN’T REAL.

Why is that important? Because 2020 United States Presidential candidates shouldn’t be real, yet, either. It is WAY too early to have even thought about hearing about any of these people. It detracts from actual news. All of them, Democrat, Republican, Whig, Tory, Steve… they’re all in the way of things we NEED to know NOW. (Yes, I created the “Steve” Party.)

We don’t need to know the name of the leading Democrat because the election is eleven months away. We do need to know how the impeachment it going. We do need to know what’s up with the bizarre weather we’ve been having. We do need to know who set/opened fire to/on what. We do NOT need to know the political leanings of someone we’re not going to give even remotely close to half a rats ass in six weeks.

We already know that Donny Ass-Clown needs to be removed and most of his (seemingly drunken) party with him. We need people who can actually HELP our society rather than exploit it for their own use. We know that already. Get these candidates out of the way until July. THEN we can talk about what we need to know in November. We don’t need to be burnt out before then.

Now, please, return us to our regularly scheduled newscast.

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